Bittersweet

That's the best word to describe this day, this play, and, I truly believe, life.

I am very melancholy right now, and I know that every other single person who was involved in "The Dining Room" feels the same way. I saw every person in the cast today, if only briefly, and got hugs and exchanged warm words, but there's a quiet sadness hanging over everything.

I haven't written a lot about the performances until now. Mostly, it's been because I haven't had the time or energy; these past two weeks have been very full and tiring, almost exclusively in good ways.

None of the performances had any major problems, and even if things did go wrong, or the energy level was off, it was OK. One of the great things about this play, and this style of theatre, is that no show is exactly the same as any other. Julia always tells us to "do what feels right", as we are present and focused in the scene, which results in the scenes always being slightly different. We'll still move in the same general patterns, but if we can really listen to each other and be aware of each other, it's inevitable that we will act and react in different ways each time.

It was interesting to see how the play changed with each audience. The attitude of the audience is always very, very tangible. We had to learn to not expect certain reactions to certain lines, and one or two times I was thrown off when someone would laugh at a line I thought was serious, or when the audience would be silent at a line that usually gets laughs.

I think I'm developing a philosophy that good theatre, theatre as I believe it should be, should never look rehearsed. To focus on blocking, or saying a line exactly the same way or at the same tempo, or moving in the same way every time, all distracts from the real essence of the play, whatever play it is. In a way, it's hard to describe; it's not about hitting a cue, but it's about being present, living in the moment of the scene and, as Julia says, doing what feels natural within the framework of the scene.

My experience in "The Dining Room" has caused me to fall in love with theatre in an entirely new way; I have always loved theatre, but I have a much deeper, richer appreciation for it as an art form and as an expression of human creativity now. I believe that what makes theatre unique and beautiful and exhilirating is that it is a living, breathing thing, like the people that participate in it, and like the people who come to watch it, and that's why it's never the same and, hopefully, never boring. I also believe that anyone and everyone has the capability of having a great experience in theatre, which draws me toward amateur, community theatre more than anything professional.

I hope to be involved in theatre throughout my life, and I believe theatre is something that should be open to everyone, almost especially those who are amateurs. It's not about being a "theatre person"; it's about being human, and theatre is one of many activities that allows us to explore what that means.